Last week, while teaching Sustainable Leadership to a group of CEOs from leading technology companies, I asked them: “What’s the biggest challenge you and your teams face?”
Their response was unanimous: OVERWHELM.
Overwhelm isn’t just the feeling of being busy. It’s a state where the brain’s executive functions—responsible, among other things, for creativity, big-picture thinking, decision-making, and focus—become overburdened. Leaders often grapple with this due to the sheer demands of their roles, but with this group, one cause stood out…
𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮 𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗣𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗿?
Last week, Facebook sent me one of those “memory” photos—three joyful moments with my family. Curiously, in each one, I’m sporting a fake beard. Two of the photos were from costume parties where I served as a host and facilitator (could you guess what I dressed up as?), and the third captured me as the ONLY parent willing to volunteer to dress up as Santa Claus for my kids’ school party. Looking at those beaming faces, I felt a surge of bliss. But then a thought struck me. Was I really happy in those moments?
Continue readingJust another Manic Monday
Last week, I had the opportunity to speak with a group of senior executives from a large multinational company. As we settled into the conversation, I kicked things off with a simple question: “How are you all doing today?” Their answer really made me stop and think…
Continue readingReconnecting with your Best Self
As Amelia, a Vice Chairman in a large multinational organization, walked into the meeting room filled with 35 Exco members and SVPs she was a bit nervous. After all, only last year these people were all her peers, and most of them have been in the organization longer than she had. She sat down, took a sip from her tall cup of water, and observed the faces of her friends and colleagues. She was unsure if they were ready to hear what she was about to say, but it was high time they did.
Continue readingThe importance of having titanium-grade support
Last month as I was skiing with my kids in the French Alps, I fell and broke my collarbone. It was a shocking experience (yes, sigh…pun intended).
As a volunteer paramedic, I spent many a day rescuing others from difficult situations, and on the snow, I am that person who stops to help anyone who falls. Yet suddenly I found myself on the side of the injured.
As I was whisked off to the hospital the X-ray results were conclusive: I would need to be operated on and have a titanium-grade support plate installed before I could begin to heal. Although this was by no means a fun experience, it did bring its share of learnings.
Here are six lessons I learned from needing titanium-grade support…
Continue readingOn puppies, meaning, and the pursuit of happiness
In the United States’ Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson wrote:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”.
But was Thomas Jefferson correct? Should we pursue happiness or meaning?
What does research have to say about the wellbeing and health consequences of each choice?
And most importantly, how can we ‘have it all’ in a post-Covid world?
The 5 principles – Riding the waves of personal and professional high performance
Our always-on world takes a heavy toll on our work-life balance. As technology blurs the gap between home and work, we find it exceedingly challenging to disengage. We work longer hours than ever before [1], yet cannot focus, as we continuously multitask and are constantly distracted. As if that was not bad enough, we overburden our mental capacity in endless meetings and tight deadlines yet have little regard for our bodies, reducing sleep to the bare minimum, not exercising enough and not paying sufficient attention to how, when and what we eat.
This unceasing state of overwork causes an emotional overload, increasing toxicity, fear, stress, exhaustion and burnout, as we unsuccessfully try to quiet down the noise in our heads by continually increasing our medication.
And in all other aspects of our life—we survive.
We survive mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
We survive at home and at work.
Survive. Not thrive.
Survival is our basic instinct, our baseline, but in order to thrive, we need to exert additional energy, and most of us simply don’t have that extra energy to spare. We, literally, gave at the office, and we have nothing else to give.
Most people and organizations struggle with managing their time. Yet, to continuously sustain high levels of performance in today’s world, managing our time is not enough. We need to focus on managing our energy.
In this article, I explain the five basic principles of managing and expanding our energy resources to achieve sustained high performance both in our personal and our professional life. I conclude with a list of practical tips.
Principal 1: The four energy resources
Contrary to common belief, we do not have a single energy resource.
We actually have four different resources:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Mental
- Spiritual
The physical resource is our body’s power, stamina and resilience. To strengthen our physical resources, we need to take care of our body through exercise, a balanced healthy diet, and an ample amount of sleep every night.
Our feelings fuel the emotional resource, what we feel about ourselves, our view of the world around us, and the connections we have with others. For example, our emotional resources can be depleted much quicker if we live with an alienated spouse or work for an overbearing, demanding boss as opposed to living in a loving relationship and a caring and nurturing work environment.
The mental resource is what we use when we think, create and innovate. It is what allows us to work, concentrate, make decisions, self-control, learn and focus for extended periods. When this resource is depleted, we quickly lose focus and clarity, experience negative thinking and a sense of tunnel vision. Research shows that when people are under stress, they are unable to use their mental resources efficiently. In one such study, people under stress showed a loss in their mental capacity equivalent to 13 points on their IQ test [2].
Our Spiritual resource is our connection with that which is greater than us. For some people, it is God; for others, their purpose, vision or dream. It is what elevates us and, in terms of work, turns a job into a calling. In essence, the Spiritual resource allows us to answer the most important question: “What is my special gift to this world?”
As we will see in the following principles, understanding we have not one but four different resources allows us much more flexibility and efficiently in using our energy resources.
Principal 2: Use it or lose it; abuse it and lose it
Principal number 2 is made of two opposing rules:
- If you abuse a resource – you deplete its energy and are left exhausted
- If you do not use a resource – you deplete its energy and are left exhausted
Just like muscles, over-exercising a resource may cause pain, fatigue and lead to long-term injury. In contrast, under-exercising a resource makes us feel sluggish and heavy while creating atrophy.
These two opposing yet complementing rules urge us to be attentive to the ebbs and flows of our energy, allowing us to engage in the task at hand entirely and then fully let go when these resources need to recover and rebuild.
Unfortunately, most people are not aware or attentive to these energy levels. Many managers I work with had gone through periods of burnout. They often share the experience of working themselves to the limit, for long periods of time with no breaks. They work that metaphorical muscle to its last drop of energy until it gives way, and they have nothing else to offer.
Over 500 years ago, Leonardo da Vinci commented on the ideal way of working:
“Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer…since to remain constantly at work will cause you to lose power of judgment.”
In my workshops, I often ask participants to share instances where they experienced important breakthroughs in their life. The stories are often very similar, e.g., “during my walk”, “in the shower”, “when I was washing the dishes”.
Yet, Showers are not the source of our creativity; otherwise, we would all experience breakthroughs once every evening. We get our ideas and breakthroughs because we first deeply engage with the task at hand and then fully disengage in the shower. Both engagement and disengagement have a crucial role in this process.
When we learn to practice full engagement followed by complete disengagement intentionally, we allow our internal natural resources to bring out the genius in us.
“We live in a world”, writes Jim Loehr,” that celebrates work and activity, ignores renewal and recovery, and fails to recognize that both are necessary for sustained high performance.” [3]
Principal 3: Timing is everything
As we saw in principle 2, we must use our energy to the fullest yet not abuse it. However, this is not enough. To be able to engage with our resources fully, we need to be aware of the timing.
Consider a wave surfer at sea. To become a master surfer, one must learn the art of timing. When the wave arrives, you need to paddle forward and find the exact time to jump on the wave and let its energy carry you forward. If you jump too soon, you miss the wave, jump too late and you crash and burn [4]. During the day—as well as the week, month, and year—our energy levels follow the same patterns of the wave: from crest to trough and then back again.
Learning to catch the waves of energy early on and ride their energy longer is what makes one a master of sustained high performance. However, most people are oblivious to these cyclical waves of energy. Like a lost surfer, they paddle ceaselessly in the vast ocean, continually fighting against the immense power of the waves in an ever exhausting and futile battle.
Once we become aware of this inner cycle of energy—a much more potent and sustainable timekeeper than the strict and unbending tyranny of our human-made clock—we can ride the waves skillfully and use their power to allow us more energy for extended periods without exhausting ourselves.
Principal 4: United we stand
Our four energy resources are interconnected, each one affecting the other. We all experienced such days when we feel emotionally down while also feeling a lack of physical energy, so much so that often we want to go to bed and hide under the covers.
This interconnectedness of the emotional resource affecting the physical one works both ways. When our physical resources are low, it can also deplete our emotional resources, for example, losing our emotional control after a long sleepless night.
Yet this interrelation between energy resources can also work to our benefit. For example, when we are emotionally happy or mentally stimulated, we often wake up; when we are physically energized, we are better able to weather the emotional storms of life.
Similarly, a milestone longitude research shows the interconnectedness between the emotional and physical resources. This study, often referred to as the “Nun Study”, studied 678 Catholic nuns from an average age of 22 up until their death and showed a very high correlation between positive emotions and longevity. Nuns who expressed more positive emotions lived on average a decade longer than their less cheerful sisters.
These nuns have also agreed to donate their brains to research following their death. The findings—that were focused on Alzheimer’s disease—showed that happier, more positive nuns were less prone to the disease. Yet one of the most mind-boggling findings was that although 15 of the nuns who were very optimistic had signs of Alzheimer’s in their brain, they did not exhibit any symptoms of the disease during their life [5].
These findings could mean that a robust emotional resource can not only make us feel better and happier but also fill up our physical resource, allowing us to live longer and fend off degenerative diseases.
Principle 5 – Creating balance
In our modern way of living, we tend to disconnect from our physical and spiritual resources. We ignore our physical needs by not exercising, getting ample sleep, and eating healthy nutrition. We drink coffee and eat sugary and oily foods to block the fatigue, and we medicate ourselves to keep ourselves moving forward. Spiritually, we tend to lose connection with our purpose, our ‘raison d’être’, drifting through life, letting external events, conventions and fears direct us without choosing our own path.
In stark contrast to our neglect of the physical and spiritual capital, we repeatedly overuse and abuse our emotional and mental resources. We continuously create emotional turmoil and drama in our life while mentally remaining stuck in distressing loops of ruminations and overthinking.
What we really need in order to create a sustainable high performance is balance—putting much more emphasis on the physical and spiritual aspects of our lives while allowing ourselves to go on a periodic emotional and mental diet.
If we equate our four resources to a tree of life: our physical resource as roots, our emotional resource as the trunk, our mental resource as branches, and our spiritual resource as the crown of the tree. To keep our tree of life stable and balanced, we need the physical roots to dig deep inside the ground while the spiritual crown is firmly planted in the sky. Only then can we genuinely withstand the violent turmoils as they constantly pound against our emotional and mental trunk and branches.
Ready to go to the next level? here are some practical tips and suggestions to put these ideas into action – Practical tips
References:
[1] Sudan et al., (2020). You’re Right! You Are Working Longer and Attending More Meetings,
[2] Mani, A., Mullainathan, S., Shafir, E., & Zhao, J. (2013). Poverty impedes cognitive function. science, 341(6149), 976-980.
[3] Loehr, J., Loehr, J. E., & Schwartz, T. (2005). The power of full engagement: Managing energy, not time, is the key to high performance and personal renewal. Simon and Schuster.
[4] How real (wo)men surf the big waves (Maya Gabeira, broke the world record for 2019-2020) New York Times, 2020 here
[5] Danner, D. D., Snowdon, D. A., & Friesen, W. V. (2001). Positive emotions in early life and longevity: findings from the nun study. Journal of personality and social psychology, 80(5), 804.
The missing chapter
For years this poem was my favorite, but then I realized it had a chapter missing. This week, I finally set down to write the missing chapter
Continue readingSimple Wonders
It was a harsh cold winter in Pittsburgh, 2008. My eldest was just born, and both of us had just about enough of staying home, but with a wind chill as cold as -20°C degrees, there was not much we could do.
So every weekend, I would wrap her tiny body with lots of layers, put her in her favorite baby carrier, and like two snuggling kangaroos we would walk down to the Carnegie Museum of Art.
I have to confess that I have never visited a museum as often and as thoroughly as I did during that winter. There wasn’t a single exhibition that I skipped or a guided tour that I missed. It only took the guards once or twice before they started waiving us in without presenting our membership pass (I guess I was the only crazy dad they knew carrying a baby inside his coat during these insane snowstorms).
One of my favorite exhibitions in the museum was called “I Wish Your Wish”. It was a perforated wall, with strips of cotton ribbons coming out of each hole, each ribbon holding a wish in many different languages. Visitors were urged to select and take home a ribbon with their most coveted wish. The creator, a Brazilian artist (Rivane Neuenschwander), also placed a small table with pen and paper and encouraged visitors to add their own wishes and insert them into the vacant holes, de facto creating a technicolor Wailing Wall. She later collected these suggestions and updated the current list of wishes throughout the exhibition.
I recall visiting this exhibition every week, reading and re-reading the ribbons. Sometimes adding my own wishes but mostly asking myself: “What is it that we humans really deeply wish for?”, as for me, these constantly changing ribbons were tracking people’s wishes at different times and places around the world, just like a wish seismograph.
At some point, I ended up choosing one of the ribbons, and following the Brazilian popular belief, I tied it firmly three times across my wrist. The Brazilians believe that doing so will grant you your wish, but only when the ribbon is so weak that it tears and falls off on its own accord.
Which ribbon did I choose? was my wish granted? that is a story for a different post.. but one of my all-time favorite ribbons that kept on calling on me to be plucked from the wall was this one:
“To find pleasure in things as much as I used to as a child”
Going back to the Simple Wonders
For me, this last year of confinement is an invitation to stop and go back to finding pleasure in things as much as we used to as a child, these simple, magical moments: my children growing, nature, raindrops, the smell of wet grass, wind, cloud, silence, becoming aware of the simple wonders.
“Wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why,
but we are all like that.”
– From: “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”, by Robert Fulghum
This week, I invite you to stop,
breathe, take it in, and ask yourselves:
Isn’t it time we start noticing our simple wonders?
Feel free to share your simple wonders here below, and see you all next week
Maybe it’s time to change the way we look at change?
Why do we change? How do we change? and What is the outcome of change?
Despite decades of research, we still can’t answer some of these most fundamental questions. What are we missing in order to solve this puzzle?